I also feel like this book would have benefited from Gottlieb acknowledging her own privileges, in particular her whiteness, especially in terms of the smoothness of her career development trajectory despite multiple transitions. ) to help you navigate how to find a therapist who’s with it and will understand important concepts and lived experiences related to oppression and intersectionality.
For people of color, queer people, and those at the intersections of marginalized identities, I’d recommend this article (. It’s so important that therapists educate themselves on how to be culturally competent, and after reading this I’m honestly unsure if Gottlieb would be the type of therapist who might commit a microaggression against a client or not acknowledge her privilege or power in the therapy dyad. I felt shocked that as such a competent therapist, she wouldn’t mention the importance of taking into account how societal oppression affects patients and the therapy process and dyad (I think she mentioned men being socialized to withhold emotional expression, but aside from that, nothing). I do rate this book four stars very intentionally, because Gottlieb does not acknowledge the importance of race, privilege, power, oppression, intersectionality, or culture, at all in this book. Just a few ideas that stood out to me and/or felt relevant to my own life: 1) that we often turn to anger when we feel hurt, that we lash out at others or ourselves in periods of intense emotional distress, 2) all relationships will involve some level of being hurt, either you being hurt or you hurting someone else, it’s a matter of repairing that rupture after the conflict occurs and setting boundaries surrounding how much you’re willing to put up with, and 3) I’m not alone in having Facebook and internet-stalked my therapist (thank you Lori Gottlieb for normalizing my own behavior there lol!) I always wanted to know what would happen next, and Gottlieb’s insights always resonated on an emotional level without restoring to cliché. Her writing style is conversational and demystifies therapy, both the process and the emotion involved, and her deep care for her patients and her own therapist is wonderful to read. Gottlieb describes her experience in therapy for herself and the therapy she provides to a few different patients with compassion and humor. I read somewhere that my generation is the “therapy generation” and yet so much stigma and misinformation surrounding therapy persists. I so appreciate Maybe You Should Talk to Someone for further destigmatizing therapy.
A warm, engaging, and funny book about a therapist who sees a therapist after her boyfriend breaks up with her.
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